Friday, July 15, 2011

Opening This Weekend: Harry Potter and the Final Cash Grab (Part 2)(In 3D)

It's Harry Potter!

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 -- Some people may think it is blasphemous that I have never read a Harry Potter book or that I have only seen one Harry Potter movie (I did like it though, which makes it even odder that I've never seen any of the others). I say it is blasphemous that a movie can cast both Gary Oldman and Alan Rickman, and have neither of them play bad guys. 

I am happy to see the main trio of actors in all their TV interviews now. Despite being typecast for life, they are all very appreciative that they had those roles and are legitimately sad the series is ending. You can't say that about too many big series (I'm looking at you cast of Star Wars minus Anthony Daniels). 

I hope everyone who wants to see this already has tickets. Every single theater in the St. Louis area was sold out for the Thursday midnight showings, as well as the 2:30 a.m. showings, to the tune of some 270,000 seats. And some people think Transformers will out-gross this.

The Dark Knight Rises teaser -- This is almost as big of news as the new Harry Potter. The first teaser for the new Batman will show before HP, and people are going nuts. Some people have no idea what a "tease"r is. Enjoy your minute and a half of old footage, text, BRAAAM!s, and maybe MAYBE ten seconds of new footage.

Winnie the Pooh -- Ladies and gentlemen, this here is the stupidest decisions Hollywood has ever made. Winnie the Pooh is one of the most beloved creations of all time, and unlike so much other CGI remake crap nowadays, he retains his classic hand-drawn art style, in a film that is getting tons of love from critics all over. And they bury it under Harry Potter. Good show, morons.

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan -- An epic drama based on a Chinese masterpiece...which co-stars Hugh Jackman.

The Undefeated --  A documentary on Sarah Palin's rise to power. I guess serving a half term in a state which is virtually Canada is enough to get you a documentary.

Tabloid -- Another documentary, which is actually a much more fitting name for a Sarah Palin vehicle. But this one is about Miss Wyoming (a state that makes Alaska look like downtown Tokyo) and someone she kidnapped in 1978, or something. Its supposed to be great.

Salvation Boulevard -- This one is supposed to be horrible, but you would never tell from the synopsis. Greg Kinnear is a Grateful Dead fan turned born-again-Christian, and he is framed for murder by the town pastor, Pierce Bronson. Oh, and it somehow plays out like a Three's Company episode.

Phase 7 -- This Argentine film is a mix of Shaun of the Dead and [REC], except without the zombies. I have no clue how that works.

Breaking Bad -- Since I'm not a Harry Potter fan, I'm staying in this weekend. Good thing for me the best show on television returns on Sunday. Spoilers for the end of season 3: Did Jesse shoot him? Of course he didn't shoot him. How can so many people actually think he did.

The Walking Dead teaser -- AMC's second best show after BB. This is my pick for teaser of the weekend, as it has a chance of actually showing some meaningful new footage.


  1. You do realize that saying that Alan Rickman is NOT a bad guy in "Harry Potter" is a HUUUUUGE spoiler for some people, right?

  2. So very excited for Breaking Bad and the Walking Dead teaser.
    Your description of the Batman teaser is spot on. I love "Braaaam". It seems every trailer since Inception requires the "BRAAAAM" sound (even Friends with Benefits, which I thought was weird).

  3. I can't wait for the new Dark Knight

  4. Haven't seen or read any HP either.
    I'm fairly proud of the fact.