Experience Star Wars Like You Never Have Before

...with more rocks

SERIOUSLY! WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS?????

The Star Wars Blu-Rays are just around the corner (it's like we are back in 2006). Despite Lucas saying the movies were going to be left intact this time, we all knew he was lying. Here are some of the brilliant changes made to make the movies into the more complete vision old Georgy originally had.

-R2D2 has more rocks in front of him, for some strange reason.

-Ewoks blink, for some strange reason.

-Jabba's Palace door is now five times the original size, for some strange reason.

-Obi-Wan scares the Sand People off with a new blood-curdling inhuman scream, for some strange reason.

-The puppet Yoda in Episode I has been replaced with a CGI Yoda, for actually a good reason. That puppet - the original one they used back in 1979 - was falling apart during Phantom Menace. Also, a change to a prequel can't possibly make it any worse.

-Any open space has been replaced by a CGI Tie-Fighter, for some strange reason.

-And finally, for some strange reason, during the single most climatic scene in the entire series, they added in Darth Vader saying "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" This scene serves two purposes: to bookend Revenge of the Sith and Return of the Jedi, for some strange reason. And to weaken the mystique that has made Darth Vader one of the greatest fictional characters of all time.

Don't worry people. These will all be changed again in two years when the inevitable 3D Star Wars films are released.

(BTW, I haven't been on as of late because my internet sucks. Great job AT&T. I'm glad your merger fell through.)

New to VHS 6/7

Here are the new videos you can own today. I got you the Amazon link too. Notice, most of these link to the DVD version, because most of these aren't available on just Blu-Ray. Most of these are only on those stupid Blu-Ray/DVD Combo packs. Because we all remember how successful those DVD/VHS combo packs were.

True Grit -- A remake of a John Wayne Western that has been Coenified and Dudeified. This was a very good movie, and I'm very surprised it took this long for i to hit video. All the other Oscar nominees seemly hit the store shelves two days after the Academy Awards. Well this was better than most of them anyway.

Green Lantern: Emerald Knights -- A couple short Green Lantern tales interwoven into a big story. They did the exact same thing with Batman: Gotham Knights right before the Dark Knight came out. While DC hasn't quite gotten the live-action film down, they put out some great animated movies, and I'm sure this is one of them.

Superman Anthology -- Speaking of DC, they got this beast out on Blu-Ray today. Eight discs containing all five movies in addition to the famous Donner Cut of Superman 2. That leaves two more discs just for extra features. Definitely a gift for the die-hards.

Sanctum -- aka that movie that had James Cameron's name all over it, despite him having nothing to do with it. People get stuck in a cave and go crazy. No aliens or albino eye-less monsters anywhere in sight. It really sounds pretty good, and it's apparently one of the better 3-D movies out there. I guess that means there are more than two scenes that actually use 3-D.

Just Go With It -- Adam Sandler tries to trick Jennifer Aniston into thinking he's still relevant. Judging by its box office gross, I don't think it worked.

Happy Gilmore -- Adam Sandler's best film is out on Blu-Ray (is it really for the first time?) in hopes people may see this, forgot his past five films, and pick up Just Go With It. Also out today are Billy Madison and Bulletproof.

Breaking Bad Season 3 -- The best show on TV which has been on break for waaay too long. We are a little over a month away from Season 4. So make sure you watch this and be up to date of the cliff hanger at the end.

Burn Notice Season 4 -- The second best show on TV. Sadly, Season 4 wasn't exactly its best season.

White Collar Season 2 -- Own Season 2 for $30, or own Seasons 1 and 2 for $34. Why couldn't Amazon have this great of a deal with Breaking Bad?    

Stars Wars is Coming to Blu-Ray

Possibly the greatest quote of all time was when George Lucas said Stars Wars can not be converted to Blu-Ray, because "they are too old". Just think of that for a bit while I watch Wizard of Oz and Gone with the Wind in high-def.

Well the good news (besides me already having 50 followers. Thanks guys.) is the complete Star Wars collection is finally coming to Blu-Ray in a massive 9-disc set on September 12. The bad news, this will contain only the "special editions" of the original trilogy. This news seems to shock some people, but I've come to expect disappointment by now.

When Terrorist aren't getting killed, this blog is going to focus on comparing sequels and such. But I will stay away from Star Wars simply because everything possible has already been said. The originals >>> the prequels. That is a fact at this point.  

Anyway, let's look at the bright side. Six of the discs each have a movie and commentary. The late director of ESB, Irvin Kershner, was able to provide (presumably) new commentary, and Carrie Fisher is the only actor to add her input. Two of the discs feature tons of deleted scenes for each trilogy, some of them brand new and some have been locked in the archives for 30 years. The last disc, and possibly the best looking one, has several documentaries. There's one for each of the original movies, each untouched from 77-83. There's a brand new Talk with the Masters, featuring Lucas, Kershner, writer Kasdan, and John Williams. One is based just on Star Wars Universe tech, one just on fandom, one just one spoofs, and one just on...Dewbacks.

Just some helpful links:

Here is Wikipedia explaining the differences between each film revision.

Here is the first part of Mr. Plinkett's incredibly well done, incredibly funny, incredibly raunchy, and incredibly long  (Episode 1, the shortest one, is 70 minutes) reviews of the prequel trilogy.  Well worth the time.

And Here is the first part of Star Wars Begins by Jambe Davdar. It is an incredibly impressive fan commentary of the original trilogy that takes the entirety of the movie, and splices in archive scenes, raw footage, interviews, and other stuff. It's very informative and also well worth your time.