|Don't watch it. I'm warning you.|
It has taken me awhile, but I think I found the secret to good blog posting. If you are too lazy to write yourself, steal from someone else. Welcome to the internet.
The nice folks at Uproxx put together a list of actors who have had at least five bad movies after winning an Oscar. Not that winning an Oscar equals a good movie. But yeah... yeah. I don't have much more to say. So here's the list.
10. Nicole Kidman = 5. Won for The Hours in 2002. Flops from 2007 to 2009, Invasion, Golden Compass, Margot at the Wedding, Australia, Nine.
Remember, Australia and Nine were hyped to hell and back for the award shows. I think only nine people saw Nine, and only the population of Australia saw Australia. That's 18 people all together.
9. Joe Pesci = 5. Won for Goodfellas in 1990. Flops from 1997 to 2010, 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag, Gone Fishin', Lethal Weapon 4, The Good Shephard, Love Ranch.
I loved Lethal Weapon 4. It gave the West Jet Li and it was a great send off to one of the best (now dead) sub-genres in film, the interracial buddy cop flick. It is also a million times better than Lethal Weapon 3.
8. Robert DeNiro = 5. Won for Godfather Part II in 1974 and Raging Bull in 1980. Flops from 2002 to 2005, Showtime, City by the Sea, Analyze That, Meet the Fockers, Hide and Seek.
DeNiro was one of the greatest actors of all-time. But he should have retired a decade ago. I can only name two good films of his over the past ten years (Meet the Parents and The Score, maybe Stardust). Rocky & Bullwinkle and Little Fockers almost discredit his entire career single-handedly. And don't forget about Righteous Kill with Al Pacino. That was like watching your parents die for two straight hours.
7. Ben Affleck = 7. Won for Good Will Hunting in 1997. Flops from 2002 to 2006, The Third Wheel, Daredevil, Gigli, Paycheck, Jersey Girl, Surviving Christmas, Man About Town.
He only won for writing in Good Will Hunting, and he shared it on top of that. And according to reliable sources (aka that one Family Guy cut-away) Matt Damon did all the writing.
6. Marisa Tomei = 8. Won for My Cousin Vinny in 1992. Flops from 2001 to 2006, Someone Like You, Just a Kiss, The Guru, Anger Management, Alfie, Loverboy, Marilyn Hotchkiss' Ballroom Dancing and Charm School, The Factotum.
According to legend, she really didn't win for My Cousin Vinny, but the presenter was too drunk to read the card and just said the last name he remembered (come to think about it, Family Guy did a cut-away for that too). But that doesn't change the fact that she is the world's best looking woman over 40.
5. Julia Roberts = 9. Won for Erin Brockovich in 2000 (with noms for Pretty Woman and Steel Magnolias before that). Flops from 1990 to1996, Flatliners, Dying Young, Hook, Sleeping with the Enemy, The Pelican Brief, I Love Trouble, Ready to Wear, Something to Talk About, Mary Reilly.
I not sure what I'm more upset about: The list maker breaking their own rules for including movies before she won an Oscar, or for the list makers saying Hook is a bad movie.
4. Kevin Spacey = 9. Won for The Usual Suspects in 1995 and American Beauty in 1999. Flops from 1999 to 2006, Ordinary Decent Criminal, Pay It Forward, The Shipping News, K-Pax, Austin Powers: Goldmember, The United States of Leland, The Life of David Gale, Beyond the Sea, Edison.
Kevin Spacey is at his best when he plays a bad guy. And you can't count Austin Powers against him. His ten seconds of screen time were absolutely brilliant
3. Helen Hunt = 10. Won for As Good As It Gets in 1997. Flops from 2000 to Current, Pay It Forward, What Women Want, Dr. T. and the Woman, The Curse of the Jade Scorpion, One Night at McCools, A Good Woman, Bobby, Then She Found Me, Every Day, Soul Surfer.
She also won four Emmys from 1996-99 in Mad About You. How many other TV actors have made this good of jump to the big screen?
2. Robin Williams = 13. Won for Good Will Hunting in 1997 (and was robbed for several other ones). Flops from 2004 to 2009, The Final Cut, Noel, House of D, The Night Listener, The Big White, Night at the Museum, The Night Listener, R.V., Everyone's Hero, Man of the Year, License to Wed, August Rush, Old Dogs.
Robin Williams is another multi-Emmy winner, both from stand-up routines. For being one of the funniest people alive, he has put out tons of painfully unfunny stuff. What's even harder to believe is the movie that broke his losing streak was World's Greatest Dad, an insanely dark comedy about his dead son that was directed by Bobcat Goldthwait of all people.
1. Cuba Gooding, Jr. = 16. Won for Jerry Maguire in 1996. Flops form 1999 to 2007, Murder of Crows, Instinct, Chill Factor, Men of Honor, Rat Race, Pearl Harbor, Snow Dogs, Boat Trip, The Fighting Temptations, Radio, Home on the Range, Shadowboxer, Dirty, Daddy Day Camp, What Love Is, Norbit.
While he did a great job of yelling "Show me the money!", that best supporting actor award had William H. Macy written all over it. But it was worth it for his mega hyper - possibly cocaine influenced - acceptance speech, which must have blacklisted him from Hollywood. However, anyone who accepts a role in a sequel to a cancerous Eddie Murphy movie deserves to be left in the dust.