Friday, August 19, 2011

Opening This Weekend: Remakes and Reboots (also, Canada)

It's true

Hey everyone. Sorry I haven't been around recently, but I'm in Canada on a business trip (feels nice to say that). Between the craziness here and the $20 a day the hotel charges for internet, I've been a bit out of the loop. Thankfully those nice Canadians don't put passwords on their wi-fi. This is a big weekend for movies, but first here's the movie related stuff I've done in Canada.

- Stopped in Toronto's Chinatown and bought a TON of $2 bootleg Asian DVDs. I think I own the entire collection of Akira Kurasawa films now.
- I didn't actually go in, but the Toronto International Film Fest (TIFF) has a really cool looking exhibition on Federico Fellini. I would have loved to have more time to see it. I guess I just have to settle with crappy musical remakes of his films.
- I'm also going to miss the Rue Morgue Horror Expo, Canada's biggest horror fest (feel free in insert a joke her, but it is seriously a huge fest), which starts the day I leave. I'm a very sad man, but I'll meet Elvira some day.
- But I did get to watch the great show Eastbound and Down, which Canada airs uncensored on its regular sports network The Score. I think they also show UFC Pay Per Views free just a few days after the fight. Awesome.
-Not necessarily Canadian, but Topless Robot has a list that makes me happy. The 11 Greatest Ray Harryhausen Monsters
-I found a radio station that plays Duran Duran 75% of the day, other 80s synthpop bands 20% of the time, and the Beatles and Bob Marley the rest of the time.
-Finally, I ate a ton of Tim Horton donuts.

Anyway, opening this weekend:

Conan the Barbarian - This looks amazing from the very short clips they show in the previews. Apparently, the full thing isn't too good. Conan has painted itself into a very interesting situation: This film is much closer to the source material than the previous movies, but Arnold has made himself into such iconic figure that his role as Conan overshadow's the original stories.

Fright Night - Another remake of a vampire movie which was really in perfect remake territory. Enough people know of the old movie to draw a crowd, but not too many people hold the original in too high of regards, so there won't be much fan backlash. Throw in Colin Farrell and Dr. Who, and you got a winner. Rotten Tomatoes says this is the weekend's winner by a huge margin.

Spy Kids 4-D - I don't care about this, but I love director's Robert Rodriguez style. He does an ultra violent movie and then a kids movie. Here, Jessica Alba plays a normal mom raising two kids, who just so happen to be spies. In RR's (hopefully) next movie, Sin City 2, Jessica Alba will play a stripper who kills people. I like the pattern.

One Day - Anne Hathaway stars and probably gets naked in this "mainstream indie" (whatever the hell that means) bomb. She fakes a British accent too, but as long as she doesn't rap again, it's all good.

Griff the Invisible - A super hero movie not based on a comic. I was about to give this a chance, until I read the tagline. "The greatest superpower is love." Nope.


  1. Lmao!! I think milk in a bag is such a novelty. Here in BC, it's still a carton.

  2. If Robert Rodriguez wants to continue making kids' films, he should hire another writer to write the scripts.

  3. Milk comes in bags!?!?! And it's not just a boob metaphor!?!?! Mind blown.
    Robert Rodriguez has openly said that the Spy Kids movies fund every other movie he does, so keep on coming crappy kids' movies.
    And Conan just looked like a mess of cliches to me. The preview shows: a jump-n-punch (cliche since Brad Pitt did it in Troy), the ducking under a knife or sword in slow motion, and a car/cart flipping over. You're totally right, though, Arnold does overshadow it. But when I hear Conan, I think of Grace Jones ("Grab him. Take him.")
    Love the synopsis's as always.

  4. tee hee...its been a while since ive seen those milk bags

  5. not interested in any of these movies :/

  6. Any classic rock channel in Canada will likely play Rush 80% of the day so that they can fill their Canadian Content Quota.

    They are usually heavy on Neil Young too.