Top Ten Career Killing Films

Kevin Costner looking confused at a script

Stardom can sometimes happen overnight. And despite what some people may think, it is doesn't usually go away that fast. If it is a good actor it will take more than one bad role to sink his or her career, unless that was one absolutely horrible movie with no redeeming features what so ever.

Here's ten of those movies.

Box Office Round Up: Rise (Albeit Slowly) of the Apes

Ho-hum weekend. Rise of the Apes took home number one at the box office with $54 million. Now there are several ways you could judge how successful a movie is. Compared to its relatively tiny budget ($93 million with some of the best CGI to date. Smurfs cost $110 million and it looks like a high school project) it took in a pretty nice haul. It should also take in some pride considering people are actually liking it. But comparing the number of tickets sold to the number of TV spots, the ratio isn't even close.

However, I think the true test of successitude is comparing something to its crappy Tim Burton remake. Planet of the Apes made $14.5 million more than this, and that's 2001 money. Therefore, Rise of the Apes is a colossal failure. In other news, Disney's 1951 version of Alice in Wonderland is the biggest bomb ever.

Despite narrowly losing to Cowboys & Aliens last weekend, the Smurfs pulled out a big victory this time around. The blue guys made $21 million (a 41% drop) vs. the old guys' $15.7 million (a 57% drop). Neither are near their budgets though. My first thought was that the bad reviews brought the Cowboys down, but considering Smurfs had genocidal reviews...

Speaking of bad reviews, The Change-Up was fourth with $13.5 million. This has a shockingly high budget of $52 million, $0 of which went to writing. Jason Bateman shouldn't feel too bad, as his Horrible Bosses (#9) crossed the $100 million mark this weekend. But this is the fourth flop in a row for Ryan Reynolds after Green Lantern, Buried, and Paperman. The last two made $1.05 million combined despite huge film fest hype. Guess you can't replace your abs with merit like the good old days.

Captain America was fifth with $13 million on the weekend, $143 million life to date. Thor had made $145 million at this point of its release, so now we all know Marvel can make consistent movies. Cap adds another $105 million international, and while the movie has yet to open in Germany or Japan, its biggest non-(North or South)American foreign gross comes from Italy, the Axis people forget about.

Finally, Harry Potter is still making some money. It now has made one billion, one hundred and thirty-three million, nine hundred thousand dollars world wide. That moves it into third place for highest grossing movie ever, behind only Titanic ($1.843 billion) and Avatar ($2.782 billion). It is also stealing the hype away from Transformers 3, which moves into seventh place all-time with $1.037 billion. Perhaps the US Government should start asking James Cameron, Michael Bay, and J.K. Rowling for money.

Opening This Weekend: Animals and Comedians Revolting

The Missing Link?

Rise of the Conquest of the Battle of the Escape of the Return of the Beneath of the Planet of the Apes -- This looks very good despite the studios shoving a stupid title down our throats, and the critics seem to agree so far. James Franco creates a smart ape, possibly while high, who in turn creates a ton more smart apes, and they overthrow humanity because the zookeepers make fun of them. We all knew Kevin James was going to be the end of us. WETA Workshop, the crew behind Lord of the Rings, Avatar, and District 9 among others, provided the special effects. That means the effects are very good. And Andy Serkis [pictured] (Gollum, King Kong) did the motion capture for the apes. That means the apes are more apelike than real apes.

The Change-Up --  Ryan Reynolds and Jason Bateman, two well off people, switch bodies. It's like the Prince and the Pauper, but instead it is the Prince and the Prince. It's not as exciting, and the critics again seem to agree. When I first saw a preview for this, it was immediately after Reynolds in Green Lantern (which may have been good if WETA was in charge of it) and Bateman in Horrible Bosses. It's like they combined the previews. Olivia Wilde, who was just in Cowboys & Aliens, is in this too, meaning this really is the chop suey of Summer movies.

Also, has anyone else noticed that the ads for new movies have octupled in the past few weeks? My theory is people think since Harry Potter made a billion dollars, their movie can too with enough advertising. Because we all know that is the only reason why people saw Harry Potter.

The Whistleblower -- Rachel Weisz plays a small town cop who joins the UN in Bosnia as they turn a blind eye to sex trafficking. Based on a true story. This was made as Oscar bait, but it is falling apart in the minds of critics. Needs more Ryan Reynolds, imo

Magic Trip -- A documentary about the Merry Pranksters who went on a road trip across America in 1964. In today's terms, it's about drug addicts escaping police jurisdiction. The Pranksters include Ken Kesey (author of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest), Neal Cassidy (Bono's character in Across The Universe), Jerry Garcia (of the Grateful Dead), and a few imaginary people they met on their acid trips. 

Bellflower -- New comer Evan Glodell directs and stars in a bleak film where he builds weapons just in case an apocalypse happens. A prequel to Mad Max? Sign me up. Seriously, this sounds great, and it is getting tons of praise on its unique film style. Made on zero budget, Glodell custom made a camera using other old camera parts, providing a dirty and raw picture. Look at this beast:

Wait, a Mac Book Pro? Ok, this is definitely not a zero-budget film.

What to Look Forward to in August

The Best film with August in the title. Also somehow, the worst film with August in the title..

Here is everything worthwhile coming out in August and then some.

Aug 5th
Rise of the Planets of the Apes (formally known as Conquest of the Planet of the Apes formally known as Rise of the Apes formally known as Caesar formally known as Caesar and the Rise of the Apes formally known as... they seriously need to just stick to a title)
A stoner (James Franco) becomes a scientist and makes smart monkeys. What do you expect to happen?This looks pretty good, but is there going to be anything left to see? The previews must have shown us the entire movie by now.
Hype Level = A million times Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes

The Change-up
An upper middle class white family man (Jason Bateman) switches bodies with an upper middle class white ladies man (Ryan Reynolds). What crazy shenanigans could they get into to?
Hype Level = New and Exciting </sarcasm>

Whisker Wars
A reality show on IFC about people trying to grow the world's longest beards. Yeah, it is a slow TV month.
Hype Level = Do I even get IFC?

Aug 12th
30 Minutes Or Less
A pizza boy (Jesse Eisenberg) gets and bomb strapped to him by two formally funny people (Danny McBride and Nick Swardson) . Based on a tragic true story. Except this is a comedy. From the director of Zombieland, which means it may not be a comedy after all.
Hype Level = People are really excited for this?

Final Destination 5
People Die. They "rebooted" the series after FD3 with The Final Destination, but now they are back to the old numbers. Seriously, just stick to a title.
Hype Level = Quite frankly, one of the best uses of 3D

Aug 19th
Conan The Barbarian
Jason Momoa from Game of Thrones plays pretty much the same character he did in Game of Thrones. Except with more killing and less walking. Probably the same amount of sex. Btw, this did indeed stick with the R rating after flirting with going soft.
Hype Level = Less than Arnold's Conan but more than Conan the Destroyer

Fright Night
Dr. Who is a vampire. He makes fun of those sissy Twilight vampires, but isn't that far away from one of those himself.
Hype Level = Don't care about Dr. Who or the original Fright Night, so they cancel out into being just ok

One Day
Anne Hathaway falls in love. It's like An Education but more gushy.
Hype Level = Unless I find a girlfriend quick, I won't be seeing this

Aug 23
Deus Ex: Human Revolution (PC, PS3, X360)
The cyberpunk prequel to the original Deus Ex, one of the finest video games ever made. More or less, it is the thinking man's first person shooter.
Hype Level = It looks great, don't let the classic gaming elitists get you down.

Aug 26
Our Idiot Brother
Lovable druggie Paul Rudd mooches off his sisters. It's like You, Me, and Dupree, but probably not horrible.
Hype Level = I wish Paul Rudd was my brother.  

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark
Guillmero del Toro puts his name all over a movie despite having nothing to do with it. But he does have a good track record of picking out good movies. The Orphanage is a must see for horror fans.
Hype Level = OH MY GOD PLEASE stop showing the trailer late at night. I really want to get some sleep.

Aug 29
Death Valley
A new comedy/drama on MTV where the LAPD fights vampires and zombies and stuff.
Hype Level = What does the "M" in MTV stand for? Moronic? Moneyhat? I have no idea.

Sometime
NFL
Are you ready for some footbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal! The NFL owners and players finally agreed to a deal, so that solves one lockout. However, unlike the NBA, the NFL actually makes money.
Hype Level = I'm a Rams fan. There's no hype.

Back to School
Speaking as a college graduate, all these back to school ads are making me really depressed.
Hype Level = Summer Forever

Box Office Round Up: Cowboys Win in Overtime

It was a close race, with the weekend estimates predicting a tie. But the actual results are coming in and Cowboys & Aliens just barely edged out Smurfs & Neil Patrick Harrises. The Cowboys wrangled in $36.4 million, while the Smurfs smurfed in just a little less with $35.6 million. While this may be a temporally win for Camp Favreau, C&A did nowhere near as expected after its huge $163 million budget and big marketing push. And the reports for the movie are all quite disheartening, as the movie apparently isn't a western, isn't Sci-Fi, isn't really much of anything. The only good thing about it is that it's easy on the eyes, thanks to the effects and Olivia Wilde.

Speaking of Miss Wilde, I just want to point out to my loyal readers that she really is Oscar Wilde's imaginary granddaughter. Olivia Jane Cockburn officially changed her last name to honor her fellow Irish author Oscar. Good thing she did too, or we will have never gotten what is perhaps the greatest red carpet interview ever.

Interviewer: Your original name was Cock-Burn. Lol, Cockburn. So did a lot of people in school make fun of the name Cockburn?
Olivia Wilde: (awkward silence) ... It's pronounced Co-Burn.     

On to Smurfs. No budget has been released yet, but seeing how it looks like a homemade Youtube video, they should be happy with $30+ million. That's twice as much as the similar(ly bad) Yogi Bear made its first weekend. It was also on fewer screens than C&A meaning to took in a better per-theater average. But what is good for the studios is bad for us, as this means we will probably get a Smurfs 2: Back 2 Tha Hood with even more forced urban references.

Captain America took a sharp fall to $25.5 million. But it is finally gaining some cash in the rest of the world with $53m of its worldwide $170m gross coming from markets that the movie completely neglects. It opens in Germany in three weeks, hopefully with an alternate ending where Red Skull wins. I wonder how it does there.

Harry Potter is still doing pretty good. Another $22 million US brings the worldwide total pass the Billion mark. It becomes the ninth movie ever to hit ten digits, and it only sits behind two James Camerons, two Pirates, one Lord of the Ring, one Toy Story, and, somehow, one Alice in Wonderland. Think it will catch Avatar? Think again, as Harry only needs to make another $1,773,400,000. Transformers 3 (8th with $6m US) should also pass the billion mark in a week or two.

Crazy Stupid Love was 5th with $19 million. Much like the movie itself, I can't think of anything witty to say.

Finally, Attack the Block didn't do much of anything as it was only on eight screens. Remember, this was set for a limited release, but got bumped up. Bumped up to eight screens. Neither math nor logic have ever been strong suits for Hollywood.

Opening This Weekend: Hope You Like Aliens

Cowboys &. Aliens -- James Bond, Han Solo, and Oscar Wilde's imaginary granddaughter star in this comic-book movie by the former Iron Man director. I'm not 100% sure on the plot, but I think it has to do with aliens fighting the Dallas Cowboys. That explains how Jerry Jones looks like he leads The Syndicate in X-Files.  This films had tons of hype leading up to its premiere at Comic-con. Then people actually saw it. The verdict: At least it looks good.

Attack The Block -- This had the opposite effect. It slowly built up hype until it exploded at Comic-con. The Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead) produced flick has aliens landing in a British ghetto, something that doesn't please the gangs too well. One of the gangs is led by Wright mainstay Nick Frost, meaning UK gangs are much more fun than US gangs. This has won multiple awards already, as has been called a cross between District 9 and Reservoir Dogs. Well it just won another award for "Weirdest Comparison Ever". This recently got bumped up from a limited release, but it still may be hard to find at your local theater.

The Smurfs -- KILL IT WITH FIRE! I guess Smurfs are kinda like aliens, and this movie does look more dangerous than a Xenomorph invasion. The most prominent preview for this film has one of the Smurfs constantly making a vuvuzela sound, and the other characters are saying how annoying he is. Let me repeat, they are selling this movie by a scene that is so annoying, the people in the movie can't stand it. Why does this movie exist? Are Smurf fans really that vocal? Did the film studios think Yogi Bear, Underdog, Astro Boy, and all those other films flopping was just a fluke? Did they even watch the old shows? What is up with Papa Smurf's voice? This probably won't even have the blatant sexism that made the old series such a classic.

Crazy, Stupid, Love -- The previews for this move have been playing for months now. I am really surprised it is just now coming out. Steve Carrell, Ryan Gosling, Julianne Moore, Emma Stone, Marisa Tomei, Kevin Bacon, and a few less important people fall in love. There's a little crazy involved, but mostly stupid. The critics seem to like this so far, so I guess lightning can strike twice for this same creative team who made Bad Santa.

The Fut Ure -- Yeah, it is really stylized like that. Miranda July writes, directs, and stars in a semi-autobiographical tale of a talking cat (played by July) who tells July (played by July) what to do with her life. Have fun discussing this one at Starbucks.

The Devil's Double -- It's about Uday Hussein's body double. I only like this because of an inside joke. Too long, don't care: We lost trivia night because my best friend wrote down Rob Zombie's The Double Rejects. So I would love to run this title by him. Too bad that won't happen. That trivia ended our friendship.

Life in a Day -- A "time capsule" of people around the world recording their everyday lives. On one hand, this is an interesting premise. On the other, this sounds like the most boring movie ever.

Thundercats -- HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Cartoon Network is premiering the new Thundercats cartoon Friday (in just an hour actually). It looks so good, it makes me want to go back to the 80s and relive my childhood. It's the opposite of Smurfs, which makes me want to go back to the 80s and dip all those Smurf toys into vats of Aquadots.

Acting Losing Streaks

Don't watch it. I'm warning you.

It has taken me awhile, but I think I found the secret to good blog posting. If you are too lazy to write yourself, steal from someone else. Welcome to the internet.

The nice folks at Uproxx put together a list of actors who have had at least five bad movies after winning an Oscar. Not that winning an Oscar equals a good movie. But yeah... yeah. I don't have much more to say. So here's the list.

10. Nicole Kidman = 5. Won for The Hours in 2002. Flops from 2007 to 2009, Invasion, Golden Compass, Margot at the Wedding, Australia, Nine.
Remember, Australia and Nine were hyped to hell and back for the award shows. I think only nine people saw Nine, and only the population of Australia saw Australia. That's 18 people all together.

9. Joe Pesci = 5. Won for Goodfellas in 1990. Flops from 1997 to 2010, 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag, Gone Fishin', Lethal Weapon 4, The Good Shephard, Love Ranch.
I loved Lethal Weapon 4. It gave the West Jet Li and it was a great send off to one of the best (now dead) sub-genres in film, the interracial buddy cop flick. It is also a million times better than Lethal Weapon 3.

8. Robert DeNiro = 5. Won for Godfather Part II in 1974 and Raging Bull in 1980. Flops from 2002 to 2005,  Showtime, City by the Sea, Analyze That, Meet the Fockers, Hide and Seek.
DeNiro was one of the greatest actors of all-time. But he should have retired a decade ago. I can only name two good films of his over the past ten years (Meet the Parents and The Score, maybe Stardust). Rocky & Bullwinkle and Little Fockers almost discredit his entire career single-handedly. And don't forget about Righteous Kill with Al Pacino. That was like watching your parents die for two straight hours.

7. Ben Affleck = 7. Won for Good Will Hunting in 1997. Flops from 2002 to 2006, The Third Wheel, Daredevil, Gigli, Paycheck, Jersey Girl, Surviving Christmas, Man About Town.
He only won for writing in Good Will Hunting, and he shared it on top of that. And according to reliable sources (aka that one Family Guy cut-away) Matt Damon did all the writing.

6. Marisa Tomei = 8. Won for My Cousin Vinny in 1992. Flops from 2001 to 2006, Someone Like You, Just a Kiss, The Guru, Anger Management, Alfie, Loverboy, Marilyn Hotchkiss' Ballroom Dancing and Charm School, The Factotum.
According to legend, she really didn't win for My Cousin Vinny, but the presenter was too drunk to read the card and just said the last name he remembered (come to think about it, Family Guy did a cut-away for that too). But that doesn't change the fact that she is the world's best looking woman over 40.

5. Julia Roberts = 9. Won for Erin Brockovich in 2000 (with noms for Pretty Woman and Steel Magnolias before that). Flops from 1990 to1996, Flatliners, Dying Young, Hook, Sleeping with the Enemy, The Pelican Brief, I Love Trouble, Ready to Wear, Something to Talk About, Mary Reilly.
I not sure what I'm more upset about: The list maker breaking their own rules for including movies before she won an Oscar, or for the list makers saying Hook is a bad movie.

4. Kevin Spacey = 9. Won for The Usual Suspects in 1995 and American Beauty in 1999. Flops from 1999 to 2006, Ordinary Decent Criminal, Pay It Forward, The Shipping News, K-Pax, Austin Powers: Goldmember, The United States of Leland, The Life of David Gale, Beyond the Sea, Edison.
Kevin Spacey is at his best when he plays a bad guy. And you can't count Austin Powers against him. His ten seconds of screen time were absolutely brilliant     

3. Helen Hunt = 10. Won for As Good As It Gets in 1997. Flops from 2000 to Current, Pay It Forward, What Women Want, Dr. T. and the Woman, The Curse of the Jade Scorpion, One Night at McCools, A Good Woman, Bobby, Then She Found Me, Every Day, Soul Surfer.
She also won four Emmys from 1996-99 in Mad About You. How many other TV actors have made this good of jump to the big screen?

2. Robin Williams = 13. Won for Good Will Hunting in 1997 (and was robbed for several other ones). Flops from 2004 to 2009, The Final Cut, Noel, House of D, The Night Listener, The Big White, Night at the Museum, The Night Listener, R.V., Everyone's Hero, Man of the Year, License to Wed, August Rush, Old Dogs.
Robin Williams is another multi-Emmy winner, both from stand-up routines. For being one of the funniest people alive, he has put out tons of painfully unfunny stuff. What's even harder to believe is the movie that broke his losing streak was World's Greatest Dad, an insanely dark comedy about his dead son that was directed by Bobcat Goldthwait of all people.

1. Cuba Gooding, Jr. = 16. Won for Jerry Maguire in 1996. Flops form 1999 to 2007, Murder of Crows, Instinct, Chill Factor, Men of Honor, Rat Race, Pearl Harbor, Snow Dogs, Boat Trip, The Fighting Temptations, Radio, Home on the Range, Shadowboxer, Dirty, Daddy Day Camp, What Love Is, Norbit.
While he did a great job of yelling "Show me the money!", that best supporting actor award had William H. Macy written all over it. But it was worth it for his mega hyper - possibly cocaine influenced - acceptance speech, which must have blacklisted him from Hollywood. However, anyone who accepts a role in a sequel to a cancerous Eddie Murphy movie deserves to be left in the dust.

News, Death, Comics, Cons, Lines, Money, Stuff

I'm back. I did not go to Comic-Con over the weekend, but I did spend lots of time waiting in line the past few days. So it is basically the same thing. Here's what happened over the weekend.

-Oddly enough, last time I was gone for a weekend, I began my post with an Avengers poster. Here's another (actually, seven more) showing off the characters in all their glory. This is also our first at Mark Ruffalo and the side of his giant face as the Hulk. (slightly better picture Here)

-The final lead-up to the Avengers - Captain America: The First Avenger - did pretty good at the box office. It was number one with $65 million (That's $600,000 less than Thor, which I thought was a flop. It's looking pretty good in hindsight now). $10.50 of that was mine (superior 2-D version), and it was very good. I think Thor was more fun, but this worked a lot better as a movie. It also ties in very well to the other Avengers movies. Big shocker however. The rest of the world doesn't Captain AMERICA that much, as it only made $2 million overseas, despite simply being called The First Avenger in most countries.

-Harry Potter took a big fall, making a mere $47 million domestically in its second week. Don't feel too bad though, it sits at $834 million worldwide.

-Friends With Benefits, the completely fictional movie that made me want to punch my TV every time they ran an ad, was third with $18 million. And now the only reason to see this (Mila Kunis naked) has been debunked as a body double. And no, that wasn't really her topless in Forgetting Sarah Marshall either.

-Amy Winehouse died. I was shocked she was still alive anyway. And since she died at 27 years old, out comes the comparisons to Jimi Hendricks, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Brian Jones, Kurt Cobain, and everyone else who died at the same age. Despite what some people are saying, there is no conspiracy that people die at 27. Also despite what some people are saying, Winehouse doesn't belong in the same sentence as those legends.

-Comic-Con came and went without too many Megaton announcements. The biggest news was Rhys Ifans, who plays the Lizard in the awful looking Spider-Man movie, came to his press conference drunk, pushed some security guards, and blamed America for everything wrong in this world before he was arrested. Sometime in all that, he revealed that the Lizard was a giant Hulk-like beast without a lizard mouth who lives in the sewer. Who can blame him for drinking?

-Robert Rodrigeuz, one of my favorite directors, announced he was finally going to make Sin City 2. He has the script and he hopes to get it done this year (Sin City 1 was completed insanely fast, despite having a huge ensemble cast). He also plans on a Machete Trilogy, one of which has him going to space. He is also doing a new Heavy Metal anthology movie. There won't too many details with that, but he is looking for fan submissions. These four R-rated, borderline NC-17 films, will come out after the family friendly Spy Kids 4-D. That's why I love this director.

-Pee-Wee Herman is trying to get a new movie now that his Broadway show has been such a hit.

-They are making a live action Voltron movie and a live action Captain Planet (!!!) movie. No word yet on whether Ted Tuner is cast in the lead role.  

-Snow White And The Huntsman is a film to keep your eye on. Kristen Stewart is Snow White, Charlize Theron is the Queen, Chris Hemsworth is the Huntsman, and the Dwarfs are Nick Frost, Ray Winstone, Toby Jones, Johnny Harris, Bob Hoskins, Eddie Marsdan, Brendan Gleeson and of course, Ian McShane.

-I compared Spider-Man to Mirror's Edge, a game many of you probably aren't familar with. Well here they are side by side. This actually is pretty sickening. Mirror's Edge is on top, I think.

 -Finally, here's a full trailer for the Walking Dead season 2. It's so good, I almost forgive AMC for the stupid zombie and rock throwing teaser.

Spider-Man: Turn Off The Film

With Captain America just a few days away, it is the perfect time for the other comic books to knock the wind out of the patriot's sails. There's the new Batman trailer, where nothing happened. There's the new Walking Dead trailer, where nothing happened. And there's the trailer after Captain America, which actually has some excitement. I won't spoil it for you, but if you want to know simply tune in to any other website on the internet. Now we have the first full trailer for the Spider-Man reboot, which has just slightly more than nothing happening.

Now the other Spider-Man films - all three of them - are great movies. I understand there were some problems with director Sam Raimi and the studio, and that Tobey Maguire and Kristen Dunst aged about 30 years between films (and still couldn't find any chemistry), but it seems like those are easy things to fix without remaking the entire franchise. Replacing an actor mid-series isn't the end of the world (it's actually pretty common in super-hero movies) and as long as they are good, nobody except idiots would complain. Then they can still work with the established franchise.

I just hate the idea of reboots, so maybe that alone killed this trailer for me. But the trailer being god-awful sure doesn't help. Watch it if you dare.    

Spider-Man is without a doubt one of the most fun and light-hearted comics out there. This is the exact opposite. Strike one: Why does this look serious? I hate throwing the term "emo" around (maybe because I love Rites of Spring and so many other old DC bands, but they all got mixed in with all the crappy MTV-emo bands in the mid 2000s, but that's a story for another day) but this looks insanely emo. The bad kind. One of the biggest complaints of Spider-Man 3 was how it was super emo (less so than the other two, but that's another story for another 'nother day), so what better way to start off a fresh start reboot than by going back to the old films.

Strike two, why are his parents there? Amazing Spider-Man is on issue magic number 666. In all those years, his parents appeared about four times, usually as a robotic decoy. While I don't care how they stick to the comics, Peter Parker having no parents plays a much larger role. It is a common writing strategy to not give the hero any parents (see Luke Skywalker, Harry Potter, Frodo, Dorothy, and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air) to make him more disconnected from his or her surroundings and more relatable to the viewers. It also gives the hero a reason to leave home and begin the adventure. However, everything about this trailer says his parents leaving play a large part of the story. It is just going to bog the film down.

Strike three, what is with that action scene? I guess we should be grateful there actually was an action scene, but that was ripped directly out of Mirror's Edge. Except with worse CGI (must have been the Wii version). Are all the Spider-Man scenes going to be in first person? Or was that just a quick teaser they whipped together? While it sure didn't make me want to see, it got me in the mood to play Mirror's Edge again. This may even be a good enough excuse for EA to finally make a sequel.

For now, I'm not going to look past the trailer (I have too many bad things to say about the film's exclusion of J. Jonah Jameson), but something tells me we may be seeing a second reboot in the near future. We still got a year till its release, so maybe they can fix it still. Until then, the only thing we can take solace in is there is no way this turns out worse than the Spider-Man Musical.



Right?

Breaking Bad and Box Cutters

Well Breaking Bad Season 4 premiered last night. With 2.6 million viewers, it was the most watched episode of Breaking Bad yet. But if you weren't one of those people, be careful because I'm about to discuss some MASSIVE SPOILERS!!


So I was wrong about a few things. Thankfully, I was correct when I said Breaking Bad is the best show on TV.  I am just blown away at the details and production values put into this show and so many other shows on AMC. Everything down to the blocking is just brilliant, and they again showed they are not afraid to hold anything back.

However, I can't believe Jesse really shot Gale. I watched the end of season three again, and he is indeed pointing the gun at him. They used some trick cinematography (the scientific film-making term is "moving the camera")  to make it look like he moved the gun. Nearly everyone I've talked to thought he pointed the gun away as well. Maybe it is just that Jesse is such a great character - possibly the best tragic hero in modern fiction - and we don't want to see him falling further into darkness. But it's done, and between that, the other dead body, Hank being all grumpy, Saul being uptight, and the major lack of dialog in this episode, this is looking like it will be a very dark season.

About that other dead body, that my be one of the most graphic and disturbing deaths I've ever seen. And on basic cable nonetheless. It wasn't just the throat being slit, but how he held him and the noises he made and...it was intense to say the least. But it was also a nice bookend to the box cutter cutting boxes at the beginning. Speaking of which, the flashback cold openings are always the best, and this was no different. Best part of the episode. But back to the murder, my only complaint of the episode was Gus didn't say anything like "That's what happens when people see you at a crime scene" or "He forgot the aluminum" or something to justify his death. But perhaps, that makes Gus even more terrifying.

Even Skyler, possibly the most unlikable person ever, showed some compassion for once in her miserable life. Yet people are complaining about her scenes, and a bunch of idiots online are even complaining that the episode dragged. I guess a ton of those 2.6 million tuned in for their first ever episode. If an episode where a guy gets shot through the eye and another gets his throat slashed, his body dissolved in acid, and his "soup" shipped to a chicken restaurant - both being betrayed by their own partners, of course - is a slow episode, I would hate to see an exciting episode. Actually, I would love to see that, but I was just following the saying.

Also, best ever use of a Sony Vaio.

The other thing I was wrong about (and trust me, that isn't a phrase I'll use often) was how the Walking Dead teaser may actually be meaningful. It wasn't. While throwing rocks at zombies is surely tons of fun...was that seriously the entire preview? I almost rather have text and BRAAAAAMs.